Trump Lays Out His Master Plan To ‘Take The Oil’ From Iraq

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To the victor goes the oil!

That was the theme of Donald Trump’s master plan for how he would keep the Middle East from reigniting after he swiftly dispatches the Islamic State as president.

Asked at the NBC News’ Commander-In-Chief forum about he planned to keep the Islamic State out of Iraq once he defeated them, Trump returned to his oft-recited call for the U.S. to “take the oil” from Iraq, and even offered a few details how he would go about it as President.

“If we had taken the oil, you wouldn’t have ISIS. ISIS formed with the power and wealth of that oil,” Trump claimed.

Pressed to explained exactly how the U.S. should take the oil, Trump said, “You would leave a certain group behind and take various sections where they have the oil.”

He suggested that people didn’t know that Iraq had a large oil reserve, and that the U.S. “got nothing” after losing thousands of lives and trillions of dollars.

“It used to be, ‘To the victor belong the spoils.’ Now, there was no victor there, believe me, there was no victor. But I always said, take the oil,” Trump said. “One of the benefits we would have had, if we took the oil, ISIS would not have been able to take oil and use that oil to fuel themselves.”

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Notable Replies

  1. Shorter Headline: Trump is Fucking Insane.

    I mean, seriously…you’re talking about going back and looting a sovereign nation, which would have to be done at this point under the auspices of aggressive war.

    Can we get Donald sent to The Hague now, as a pre-emptive measure?

  2. “If we had taken the oil, you wouldn’t have ISIS. ISIS formed with the power and wealth of that oil,” Trump claimed

    The President of the United States should not be promoting stealing. It’s not just that stealing is an illegal act it sends a horrible lesson to our young folk.

    ISIS would have come along oil or no oil. ISIS existed before they had any oil. Oil did not create ISIS. Rather ISIS stole iraqi oil just like trump wants to steal Iraqi oil. For some reason trump thinks all oil belongs to America.

  3. Avatar for okay okay says:

    Trump is a flat out embarrassment.

  4. Crazy Don would have been great on the high seas as a maurading pirate: his orange visage would have made for a fine pirate name. As a commander in chief in 21st century America, however, he’d just be an embarrassment.

  5. I can’t even imagine him being a good pirate.

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