If you want to know how to keep a marriage fresh into your 80s, take retired Sen. Alan Simpson’s (R-WY) advice.
The colorful octogenarian explained explained to a WYNC reporter in an interview published Wednesday how he and his wife Ann negotiate sex and their relationship at this point in their lives.
“It’s called intimacy,” he said, as quoted by WNYC. “Scratch my back. Give me a hug. Just a hug. I’d say, ok [pant-pant-pant]. Just a touch, you know, a whack on the fanny in the kitchen or whatever.”
On a different note, Simpson discussed his wife’s negative reaction to his questioning of Anita Hill, the woman who accused Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas of sexual harassment, at the justice’s confirmation hearing in 1991. Ann Simpson said she believed her husband came off as a “male chauvinist pig.”
“I’d had a wife who’d had much more harassment than Anita Hill,” the former senator recalled. “And that’s when I lost my marbles. I thought, what is this? I mean, for God’s sake, what did he do? Well, nothing…I was a monster. I was just pissed to the core.”
Listen to the whole interview here.
I’m sorry, Clarence Thomas did a lot more than “nothing.” He made reference to hard-core pornographic movies in her presence for one thing, almost certainly to deliberately make her uncomfortable. And his wife apparently agreed that was not just “nothing,” even if it was not as bad as whatever harassment she herself had experienced.
Thomas headed up the EEOC, for heaven’s sake – he, of all people, should have known that sort of thing was way out of bounds.
I guess this is the week for exhibitionists to parade their wares. Exhibitionists talking about other exhibitionists. So, we have Lewinsky, Cheney, Simpson. Who’s next?
Should have been:
“Senile A-Hole Simpson spouts off some more about things he knows nothing about. And why are we paying attention?”
Eww.
“[Retired Sen. Alan Simpson] and his wife Ann negotiate sex and their relationship at this point in their lives.”
Pretty sure that requires entire teams of negotiators, powers of attorney, “Do Not Resuscitate” orders, waivers of liability, and a PTSD counselor to be named later.