Congressional Offices Stockpile Whiskey, Pizza For Mueller Report Reading Binge

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Congress is braced for the release of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report, likely to come this week, and members’ staffs are accordingly locking down the essentials: pizza and whiskey.

According to a Sunday Wall Street Journal report, Congress is in recess, leaving many lawmakers vacillating over whether or not to cancel trips back to their home districts.

House Judiciary Committee aides and lawyers plan to set up base in a staff office to communally sift through the hundreds of pages of findings.

President Donald Trump’s lawyers have reportedly already prepped a 140-page counter-report, though none of them have yet seen Mueller’s full findings and are presumably working off of Attorney General William Barr’s four-page summary. Per Rudy Giuliani, they want to cut it down to 50 pages.

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