Stephen Colbert lamented on Thursday night’s “The Colbert Report” that the “white Christian establishment was under attack again.”
“Once again the secular progressives are coming for the most sacred American holiday in the first half of October,” Colbert said before revealing that Seattle was replacing Columbus Day with “Indigenous Peoples’ Day.”
“Why?” Colbert said. “They didn’t discover America. And it was right under their feet the whole time. How lazy do you have to be to not even look down?”
Colbert noted that Seattle argued the change was made to combat racism. But he saw it as an assault on Columbus and couldn’t help but take it personally.
“As an American patriot, I identify with an Italian explorer employed by Spain,” Colbert said. “This was the good kind of Hispanic immigrant. I’d be fine with those border jumpers if they were just trying to find spice routes to Asia.”
Watch the video below, courtesy of Comedy Central: