Colbert Believes In Protecting Traditional Gay Stereotypes

Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert couldn’t believe it: a sitting president pushed the “rainbow button” and launched “gay-mageddon.”

But Colbert on Wednesday had a hunch why Obama endorsed gay marriage: political cover. “This summer, he’ll be taking the Democratic National Convention to North Carolina, which last night defended traditional penis-in-vagina marriage,” Colbert said.

“Suck it, gays! … by which I mean, do not,” Colbert said. The proponents of North Carolina’s Amendment One celebrated by eating wedding cakes with bride and groom figurines on top. The sight really choked Colbert up. “I always cry at the prevention of weddings,” he said.

“What I love most about this bill is that by preventing gay people from having the legal right to marry, it not only protects traditional straight marriage, but also helps preserve traditional straight stereotypes of gayness,” he added. “Because I believe gay people should be having hot, sweaty, depraved, anonymous man-piles in the basements of techno clubs, devoid of the slightest emotional connection, just as God intended.”

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Barack Obama vs. North Carolina on Gay Marriage
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