Stephen Colbert was “pumped to the gavels” during Monday night’s episode of “The Colbert Report” because the Supreme Court was finally back in session.
“It’s like the start of the football season only, unlike the NFL, these players actually go to court,” Colbert said.
He noted that the Supreme Court had “already decided on a huge non-decision” on day one by announcing that it would not hear any same-sex marriage cases. Colbert played a series of clips in which one commentator noted that since 30 states now allowed same-sex marriage, it was inevitable that the rest of the country would follow suit.
“Inevitable that the rest of the country will follow,” Colbert said. “Well, I guess that’s it. I’d, uh, I’d like to thank my wife, Lorraine, for 25 good years. What can I say? We gave it a good shot, honey.”
Colbert than extended a warm welcome to his wife’s replacement.
“And of course I’d like to welcome my new government-mandated life partner Roger Cornsworth,” Colbert said. “Rog and I are registered at Restoration Hardware. We’re doing our entire living room in hammered stainless steel.”
Watch the video below, courtesy of Comedy Central:
