“The War on Christmas is a global struggle,” Tucker Carlson said Tuesday night at the beginning of a through-the-looking-glass segment kvetching about gender-neutral gingerbread cookies at a cafe in Scotland.
For three-and-a-half minutes in the 8 p.m. hour, the Fox News host, who recently complained about “dirty” immigrants, and radio host Tammy Bruce zeroed in on the newest issue of international importance: Asserting, once and for all, that the holiday cookie recipe makes men.
According to British tabloid rags and the National Review, the Scottish parliamentary cafe labeled its gingerbread men “gingerbread persons,” sparking an international uproar and producing plenty of fresh “politically correct” chum in time for the new year.
In an email to TPM, Camilla Englander, a spokesperson for the Scottish Parliament, wrote that global food service conglomerate Sodexo, “who run the staff restaurant, made and sold gingerbread biscuits” last week.
“The biscuits had a hand-made label that said ‘Gingerbread person,'” Englander continued. “Some newspapers decided this was newsworthy enough to run coverage on the subject. If our caterers decide to make and sell gingerbread biscuits again, that’s fine by us. The Scottish Parliament is quite relaxed about it and about how they are described.”
“If you agree or disagree with any newspaper or other media coverage, you can, if you wish, contact the appropriate editor with your views.”
Carlson and Bruce, in what must be called a Christmas miracle, turned the innocuous non-story into a primetime masterpiece.
“The left has worked, now, for a couple generations to condition us to, ahead of time, worry about what we’re going to say,” Bruce claimed at one point, before asserting that the gingerbread baker changed the cookie’s name to “persons” on a “whim” — except that’s a different bakery: a separate baker earned global media earlier this year for using the term “gingerbread persons.”
Yet another bakery faced online backlash despite recognizing gingerbread personhood since 1983.
Later in the segment, Bruce celebrated a Kentucky radio station that played “Baby It’s Cold Outside” for two hours straight to own the libs.
“Maybe the lesson is that the rest of us shouldn’t participate in our own spiritual neutering,” Carlson said.
Wait until Carlson finds out the Trump administration — in the form of the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s Twitter account — calls them Christmas cookies.
Watch below:
“Obviously, they’re men”: Tucker Carlson, guest kvetch about “gingerbread people.” pic.twitter.com/f4gcgQDQjq
— TPM Livewire (@TPMLiveWire) December 19, 2018
Part 2: pic.twitter.com/CxXZdnOpVs
— TPM Livewire (@TPMLiveWire) December 19, 2018
H/t Mediaite.
I guess he hasn’t noticed that they aren’t white.
OMG…brown people defended on Faux Noise. The singularity approaches!
Conservatives care about the strangest things.
Your gingerbread men are neutered in a different way, Tucker.
Wait until they find out what’s in Solyent Green.