Cohen’s Agenda For The Day: Medical Screenings And Getting A Prison Job

WASHINGTON, DC - MARCH 06: Michael Cohen, former attorney and fixer for President Donald Trump, arrives for a closed hearing before the House Intelligence Committee at the U.S. Capitol March 6, 2019 in Washington, DC... WASHINGTON, DC - MARCH 06: Michael Cohen, former attorney and fixer for President Donald Trump, arrives for a closed hearing before the House Intelligence Committee at the U.S. Capitol March 6, 2019 in Washington, DC. Cohen returned to the committee for a second day of testimony following a first appearance less than a week ago. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images) MORE LESS
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Michael Cohen is headed to prison today to begin a three-year prison stint for crimes related to the hush money payment he arranged for President Trump.

While he made be headed to one of the cushiest prisons in the country, it won’t be a picnic for the former lawyer and fixer for the president. Upon arrival, Cohen will receive a medical and mental health screening, according to the Associated Press. He will then be assigned a prison job, which could be anything from mowing the lawn to cleaning up the prison’s visitor center. Cohen will also receive his own jumpsuit, bedding for his barrack-style bunkbed and towels, AP reported.

He’ll be doing time with some big names, as TPM reported, and will be allowed time to participate in recreational activities like tennis, horseshoes and bocce ball.

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Notable Replies

  1. “He will then be assigned a prison job, which could be anything from mowing the lawn to cleaning up the prison’s visitor center.”

    He’s not so good at cleaning up mess. Try something else.

  2. Interesting article in the Guardian this morning on “prison consultants” for rich people. Enough to get me up on my revolutionary soapbox.

  3. Patsy
    May we call you Patsy?
    “Now all the criminals in their coats and their ties
    Are free to drink martinis and watch the sun rise”

  4. “…recreational activities like tennis, horseshoes and bocce ball.”

    So games for respectively, the WASP criminals, the redneck criminals (what the hell are they doing there?), and the Mafiosi (any of those left?). Maybe some new “recreational activities” are needed. Without alcohol the old vodka-shots-until-you-drop game is out, but there’s always “push the rat out the window”, “poison the rat” (played with vile-tasting cleaning products, and the always-popular “shoot the annoying political opponent/journalist in the face”, played in this case with rubber bands. Good times, boys!

  5. I thought he was going to drop some bombs before reporting?

    Wimp.

    or did SDNY tell him to STFU?

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