The House Judiciary Committee held a hearing Wednesday to discuss possible solutions to improve the porous security at the White House, which has seen a string of intrusions in recent months.
How about a medieval remedy?
“Would a — moat, water six feet around, be kind of attractive and effective?” Rep. Steve Cohen (D-TN) asked, sounding a bit timid to float the idea.
That might strike some as amusing, but Joseph Clancy, the acting director of the Secret Service, was receptive.
“Sir, it may be,” Clancy told Cohen
…they could fill it with crocodiles and piranha… just to be sure.
And then they can claim that jumping in the moat will make you…GAY!!!1!11!1one!!!
No no, that would be cruelty animals. I mean, think about what would happen if a Republican like, oh I don’t know…say Louie Gohmert were to be push–er–I mean accidentally “fell” into the moat and…umm…
—silence—
Sorry, I lost my train of thought there. What was I talking about?
Or sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads.
Or at least ill-tempered mutant sea bass with frickin’ laser beams tied to their heads.