Ultraconservative Rep. Steve Stockman wants to leave Congress in a blaze of trolling glory.
The Texas Republican, who lost his Senate bid this year, has introduced legislation aimed at mocking the IRS for losing thousands of emails requested by investigators in Congress. (The agency said the emails were destroyed because hard drives crashed.) The bill lets Americans off the hook for failing to hand over documents requested in tax audits if they claim such as excuses as “[t]he dog ate my tax receipts” and “[a]t this point, what difference does it make?”
Here’s the list of plausible excuses under “The Dog Ate My Tax Receipts Act”:
1. The dog ate my tax receipts
2. Convenient, unexplained, miscellaneous computer malfunction
3. Traded documents for five terrorists
4. Burned for warmth while lost in the Yukon
5. Left on table in Hillary’s Book Room
6. Received water damage in the trunk of Ted Kennedy’s car
7. Forgot in gun case sold to Mexican drug lords
8. Forced to recycle by municipal Green Czar
9. Was short on toilet paper while camping
10. At this point, what difference does it make?
“Taxpayers should be allowed to offer the same flimsy, obviously made-up excuses the Obama administration uses,” Stockman said in a statement.
The IRS has faced criticism for its record-keeping failure. “It’s hard to think of a federal agency that is less forgiving about record keeping. If you are audited, the IRS wants you to move fast,” wrote Slate’s John Dickerson. “Not only do you have to keep your records for years, as [Paul] Ryan says, but the IRS wants you to move quick like a bunny. And the entire process has one subliminal message to it: ‘I don’t believe you.'”
Republicans should be happy the IRS lost some emails, it allows them to exercise that most Christian of impulses – bearing false witness. That is what a good Christian does correct?
Thank goodness he’s not up in arms about wasting taxpayer dollars on joke legislation because I’d love to see the “Steve Stockman is an Imbecile act” get a vote. The law would be simple; in order to address fellow congressman on the floor of the House or Senate, one must begin with the invocation; “To my esteemed colleagues and the Fucking Imbecile from Texas district 36.”
So this is what will be his “legacy?” - What a remarkable legislative record, congressman!
You said it better (and in a more entertaining way) than I did.
You could have shortened that headline to “Steve Stockman Trolls” and been just as accurate.