Stephen Colbert took on the “panic” surrounding ISIS during Thursday night’s episode of “The Colbert Report,” noting that “worst of all, ISIS has now attracted the most violent, heavily armed people on Earth: Americans.”
Colbert riffed on the revelation that at least two Americans recruited by ISIS had attended Robbinsdale Cooper High School in Minnesota. “The Cooper Hawks,” Colbert cheered, “their prom theme this year was ‘Israel Under the Sea.'”
Although ISIS is “relatively new,” Colbert explained that the origins of the conflict actually date back to the seventh century when Sunnis and Shiites split, summing it up thus: “So in other words, this is Obama’s fault.”
Colbert seized on Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s request that Obama “step up” and “act like a man of the house.”
“Yeah, act like a man,” Colbert sexily coquetted. “I mean step up. Take what you want. I mean, yes you wanted to bomb Syria last year and we said no, but sometimes no means yes.”
He also agreed with Kimberly Guilfoyle’s wish that Putin or Netanyahu would take over the White House for 48 hours.
“Yes. Yes, Putin or Netanyahu, or better yet combine them into President Netanputhu. Shirtless but with nipple yarmulkes.”
Watch the video below, courtesy of Comedy Central: