Comedian Stephen Colbert responded with sadness during Wednesday’s “Colbert Report” to the news that his “mentor,” Fox News host Bill O’Reilly, was upset with him.
“I found out that I have upset someone very dear to me: Bill O’Reilly,” Colbert said. “My mentor, my North Star.”
On Monday night, O’Reilly said during his own show that he was infuriated by Colbert’s mockery of his plan to, as Colbert put it, “win the war on terror with an international army of 25,000 paid mercenaries.”
Colbert was clearly distraught by O’Reilly’s reaction.
“It hurts me to know I hurt the man I admire most,” he said. “Just as Bill would be hurt if he hurt the man he admires most: himself.”
The show then played a clip of some of O’Reilly’s rant against Colbert.
“Mr. Colbert and others of his ilk, have no bleeping clue how to fight the jihad,” O’Reilly said on his show.
“That’s outrageous,” Colbert responded, aghast. “Bill O’Reilly has to do his own bleeping! Come on Rupert Murdoch, spring for the bleep machine. I’ve got one here.”
Colbert demonstrated: “Bill O’Reilly is a fucking egomaniac,” he said, as an audible bleep played over the expletive. “I am absolutely positive that that was bleeped for broadcast because I don’t mean it. But more importantly how can Bill say me and ‘others of my ilk’ don’t know how to fight jihad. Bill, baby doll, you’re of my ilk. We’re ilk mates. We’re members of the same ilk lodge. We dip our cookies in the same glass of ilk.”
Colbert continued, as best he could, to reassure O’Reilly that he really did support him.
“I wasn’t mocking your plan,” Colbert said. “I’m the only one who likes it. Everyone on your own show thinks you’re insane.”
Watch the video below, courtesy of Comedy Central:
This post has been updated.
