After offering an update on his health status on Wednesday following an alleged assault by a neighbor last weekend, Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) shared two articles from conservative media outlets that cite neighbors disputing reports that the assault was the result of a landscaping dispute.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) November 8, 2017
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) November 8, 2017
It’s not clear why Paul shared the stories. It could have been an attempt to defend his landscaping work or an attempt to suggest that his neighbor assaulted him for other reasons. It’s also unclear which neighbors, if any, have the correct understanding of what prompted the alleged assault.
One of Paul’s neighbors, Rene Boucher, in Kentucky assaulted Paul from behind, according to officials. The incident left Paul with six broken ribs and pleural effusion, according to an update from the senator on Wednesday.
Initial reports on the incident suggested that the alleged assault was prompted by a dispute between Paul and his neighbor about the senator’s landscaping. Neighbors told the New York Times that Paul and Boucher argued over things like yard clippings and unraked leaves and said that while the two had different political views, that was not the origin of the tussle. Jim Skaggs, the developer of the gated community where the two live, told USA Today that Boucher and Paul had disputes over landscaping and that Paul “was probably the hardest person to encourage to follow the (homeowner’s association regulations) of anyone out here because he has a strong belief in property rights.”
However, two conservative outlets spoke with neighbors who told a different story.
Neighbors told the Washington Examiner that the property around Paul’s home is well-maintained. The Examiner also reported that Boucher was “aggressively anti-Trump and anti-GOP” on social media, citing screengrabs of Boucher’s Facebook page that were not included in the story. Neighbors who spoke to Breitbart News also said that Paul took good care of his property and said they were not aware of complaints about his landscaping habits.
In a week or two Boucher will (according to Breitbart) have converted to Islam and trained as a secret ISIS ninja, bravely tackled by Rand, who saved Western Civilization…
I still suspect that the dispute stemmed from Rand finding the grass greener on the other side of his Wall, violating the neighbor’s happy Homeland Security,nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.
In response to the attack, the US Senate is considering a bill to create a federal crime of attacking a US Senator who is not called Ted Cruz.
It will also be discovered that Boucher has a tunnel under his home extending all the way to a pizza shop in Brooklyn, paid for by George Soros and plastered with antifa posters.
Whatever it was is going to leave Rand in considerable pain for a long time. Or in the grasp of opioids. A lesson that transcends the privileges of the Senate is a thing of beauty.