Justice is swift in the wilderness.
In a viral video captured in Berg Bay, Alaska, a woman experienced the overwhelming indifference of nature first-hand in an interaction with a black bear.
Kayaker Mary Maley began in the video by addressing the bear, saying, “Thank you for leaving my kayak alone.”
Maley doesn’t miss a beat, telling the bear, which appeared to be ambling toward her, “I’m going to pepper spray you in the face!” before making good on the threat.
The bear seemed to understand, and immediately turned to advance on Maley’s kayak.
What happened next is Mother Nature’s revenge: as the bear proceeded to chomp on the kayak, Maley got increasingly hysterical, pleading with the bear: “Bear, stop that! Stop breaking my kayak, please! Gosh darn it!”
“Why are you here? You’re supposed to be asleep!” she said. The bear was unmoved by her cries.
In her YouTube post, Maley wrote that she had to swim out to a nearby boat and hitch a ride to get the kayak repaired. She was apparently in the midst of a 107-mile journey from Ketchikan to Petersburg, Alaska.
You really have to watch this whole thing, posted online by Maley:
The bear just wanted a little pepper spray seasoning to make the kayak more delicious.
Not so much a kayaktivist as a kayakatarian…
“Ala.” is the AP-style abbreviation for Alabama, not Alaska. No place in Alabama is 107 miles from Ketchikan.
TPM:
Good thing she didn’t thank the bear for not eating her.