It’s been hard for former Rhode Island Gov. Lincoln Chafee’s presidential campaign to get a break. After mixed reviews in the first Democratic presidential debate and consistently polling in the low single digits, Chafee announced Thursday night he would address the “future in the campaign” the following morning.
The candidate tweeted:
I look forward to speaking at DNC Women’s Forum tomorrow morning. I’ll address my future in the campaign there. #chafee2016
— Lincoln Chafee (@LincolnChafee) October 23, 2015
Many read the announcement as an indication that the long-shot Democrat would suspend his campaign on Friday, and a spokesperson for Chafee told a reporter he “can’t talk right now” when asked about the news.
A report from NPR this week found Chafee’s campaign has only 10 major donors, and had raised just $8,300 in the race so far. The candidate also has no campaign office in Iowa or New Hampshire, two critical early voting states.
No future?
Please, don’t make me quote the Sex Pistols.
The problem with being a long shot Dem is that there isn’t the grifting opportunity like there is being a long shot GOP. That weeds them out quicker.
I’m sure someone could build a robot that could raise millions of dollars running for GOP nomination by just randomly shouting out stuff like “Benghazi!”, “Tax Cuts!”, “Border fences!”. Now that I think about it, are we sure that Trump isn’t a newer model of Jaime from Get Smart?
From the very moment the thought popped into Chafee’s head, “Hey, I think I’ll run for President!” there was never, ever, any “future in the campaign.”
To say it was stillborn from the moment of its conception is giving it too much life. How this knucklehead came to the conclusion that it was a worthwhile expenditure of his time is a mystery for the ages.
'Am I right, ladies?
Well, as my father used to say, before he died without remembering to brief me on that bill in the Senate to repeal Glass-Steagall, whenever he asked after my grades, he’d say, Cut to the chase, Linc, & wrap it up.
Now, if each of you could just reach under your chair, right now, you’ll find a commemorative of this event. It’s not a gift, of course, tho you do get to take it home if you want. It’s not any sort of bribe, no campaign of mine would ever do that (We can’t afford it.). It’s, like I mentioned: a little momento of our time together. Go ahead: open it up. Yes, it’s an authentic Re-peel & Eat shrimp, from my staff managing to scrounge off the set of that Direct TV ad. It’s supposed to symbolize my deep commitment to recycling and saving the planet for more repeals & eats.
Don’t get into a lather about extra bits you think shrimp shouldn’t have; you’d be surprised at the changes in Gulf shrimp since that big spill. And don’t start to gag at the first sign of a bit of carpet fluff, or what might look awfully like shrimp colon contents: just ignore the stench and dig right in.
And when you leave today, please make sure to remember where you got that feeling in your digestive tract, and how much this campaign needs your financial donation.’
Quote away!