John Oliver: Net Neutrality Prevents ‘Cable Company F*ckery’ (VIDEO)

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John Oliver, host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight,” gave a brilliant explanation of the net neutrality debate during his show Sunday night, and in doing so railed against American cable companies.

Oliver starts by explaining that cable companies are looking to end net neutrality by offering two speeds of service. For example, Netflix reached an agreement with Comcast in February, in which the video streaming service decided to pay the cable company for faster service for its customers.

Oliver plays a clip of a telecommunications lawyer explaining that the end of net neutrality would simply mean “a fast lane for everybody and a hyper speed lane for others,” to which Oliver cries, “Bullshit!”

“If we let cable companies offer two speeds of service, they won’t be Usain Bolt and Usain Bolt on a motor bike. They’ll be Usain Bolt and Usain Bolted to an anchor,” Oliver said, comparing internet speed to the Jamaican sprinter.

He then adds that companies like Facebook and Google have called on the Federal Communications Commission to maintain true net neutrality.

“What’s being proposed is so egregious, activists and corporations have been forced onto the same side,” Oliver explained.

Oliver says that net neutrality’s main problem is that it’s boring, showing a clip of a congressional hearing on the issue.

“And that’s the problem. The cable companies have figured out the great truth of America: if you want to do something evil, put it inside something boring,” he said. “Advocates should not be talking about protecting net neutrality. They shouldn’t even use that phrase. They should call it preventing cable company fuckery. Because that is what it is.”

He then calls on internet commenting “monsters” to flood the FCC comments website with calls for the regulator to maintain net neutrality.

Watch the video via HBO:

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Notable Replies

  1. I can remember back in the days of the 70s when cable was a new thing and it was supposed to be wonderful for its diversity and its ability to bring all sorts of varied programming into our homes at a minimal cost.

    Today, we’re paying $150 a month for 85 channels of sports or reality programming and nothing else.

    The internet businesses like Comcast know we won’t pay attention to this because BENGHAZI and KIM KARDASHIAN!!! We have no one to blame but ourselves when (not if, but when) this becomes law.

  2. I kind of avoided problems with cable the most effective way possible.

    i don’t have it.

    You would be amazed at all the dish people who call me, say they can improve my cable speed and when I tell them they can’t, ask who my provider is. When I tell them I don’t have cable, I get the hilarious “Not even BASIC?!”

    It’s like I just told them I don’t eat.

    “Not even PIZZA?!”

  3. Sigh. Almost makes me miss the days of regulated monopolies.

  4. The whole ROI (from the consumer’s point of view) baffles me. My sister pays something like $100 a month, yet she works long enough hours that she hardly even has time to watch it, nevermind there being anything good enough to watch. Strange.

  5. Yeah, I don’t get it. I haven’t had cable for more than a decade now. Do I miss it? Not really.

    I mean, I don’t know what people are talking about when they mention an episode of ‘Game of Thrones’ or ‘Orange is the New Black,’ but I gotta tell ya I am getting a hell of a lot of reading done.

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