Colbert: Lindsey Graham Is Right About ISIS, ‘We’re All Gonna Die!’

Stephen Colbert took his turn addressing Sen. Lindsey Graham's scare tactics with regard to the Obama administration's handling of ISIS.
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Stephen Colbert took his turn during Tuesday night’s episode of “The Colbert Report” at mocking Sen. Lindsey Graham’s (R-SC) use of doomsday rhetoric to try to push the U.S. into war.

The comedian took aim at Graham after the senator warned that Obama needs to send ground troops into Syria “before we all get killed back here at home.” Colbert’s turn came a day after fellow Comedy Central host Jon Stewart made fun of Graham’s constant reliance on fear by saying he “lives his entire life trapped in ‘The Blair Witch Project.'”

On Tuesday night, after playing footage of Graham’s comments about Syria, Colbert was shown cowering under his desk.

He peeked his head up and exclaimed: “We’re all gonna die!”

“Worst of all, no one will be alive to blame it on Obama,” Colbert said. “Because it’s all true folks. Without ground forces in Syria, every man, woman, and child, in the United States, including Puerto Rico, Guam, and American Samoa, are just dead men walking. Those 30,000 ISIS fighters will kill all 300 million of us over Columbus Day weekend.”

Colbert grew more excited as he realized the inevitability of America’s demise.

“For that matter, we could all be dead by the end of this sentence. Okay we dodged a bullet this time,” Colbert said. “But we could be dead by the end of this sentence. Alright now we’re just living on borrowed time.”

Watch the video below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

The Colbert Report
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Notable Replies

  1. We all die eventually. The human race will someday die out, and eventually this planet and everything that exists here will die too.

    Someone should point out to Lindsey that he’ll die too.

  2. His amygdala is huge. He’s got enough amygdala for 10 paranoid baggers with plenty left over.

  3. Avatar for mantan mantan says:

    This phoney period of pre election Rethug/Pet Media Brownian motion had it’s first microcosmic bookend with the Palin Melee but possibilities seem limitless for the concluding, meme-laden punctuation of the 2nd bookend.

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