When a hefty surveillance blimp broke free from its tether in Aberdeen, Maryland, outside of Washington on Wednesday, CNN began its speculative, over-the-top analysis on the rogue balloon floating above the eastern United States.
CNN’s Wolf Blitzer had the channel’s Pentagon correspondent Barbara Starr analyze how the blimp could be brought down, whether the United States’ military would have to shoot it — and if or when — that time would come.
“We’ll stay on top of this very disturbing story. And we’ve never seen anything like this in the United States before,” Blitzer said. “Hopefully they’ll be able to bring that blimp down peacefully in an unpopulated area — some field somewhere. We’ll see what they can do.”
Watch a clip of CNN’s coverage:
♫ Runaway blimp, tearin’ up the sky
Ain’t nobody askin’ why
A giant bag with a helium fillin’
Could somehow cost the Army $2.7 billion ♫
“We’ll stay on top of this very disturbing story. And we’ve never seen anything like this in the United States before,”
Jesus Fuck. I’m beginning to think Blitzer and Tantaros are actually the same person, because I am truly loosing my ability to distinguish between the two through the blinding cosmic radiance of the event horizon at the edge of their derp singularity.
I knew it!
it’s over. chris christie has been captured.
https://qzprod.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/balloon2.jpg?quality=80&strip=all&w=640