Warren Subtly Mocks Right-Wing Activists’ Fake ‘Cougar’ Sex Scandal

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) speaks during the 2020 Gun Safety Forum on October 2, 2019 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
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“Go Cougars!” 2020 candidate Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) wrote in a seemingly innocuous tweet about her alma mater, University of Houston, on Thursday.

However, she just happened to post the tweet a mere hour after two breathtakingly inept pro-Trump activists unveiled what they claimed to be “bombshell evidence” of a steamy affair Warren allegedly had with a 24-year-old Marine.

Conservative figures Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman, apparently having learned nothing after their schemes to drum up fake rape accusations against Robert Mueller and 2020 candidate Pete Buttigieg imploded spectacularly, announced that they would be holding a press conference on Thursday with a witness to 70-year-old Warren’s scandalous alleged sexual conquests.

Wohl and Burkman’s press release informed reporters that the two activists would be joined by a “decorated, former Marine and bodybuilder” who claims he was engaged in a “long-term sexual relationship with presidential candidate, Sen. Elizabeth Warren.”

“These charges will shock the conscious of the nation,” Burkman declared (confusingly) in the announcement.

But the “Elizabeth Warren: Cougar?” press conference (which featured fake sex scars and a witness who couldn’t keep a straight face while speaking) ended up being yet another exercise in self-humiliation, as Daily Beast reporter Will Sommer laid out in a Twitter thread:

And about an hour after the circus ended, Warren apparently felt compelled to show some school spirit.

“It’s always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!),” Warren tweeted. “We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it.”

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Notable Replies

  1. Wow! I just might vote for her.

  2. Epic Trolling. Damn, this woman is stone cold! :grin::heart_eyes:

  3. Why do strong women, like Warren, Harris, and Pelosi (among others), scare some he-man folks so much?

  4. Ummm…because Warren, Harris, and Pelosi have the balls that the little he-man folks lack?

  5. So the story is that a 69(!!!) year-old (at the time) bagged herself a marine bodybuilder? And was so vigorous that she left scars on his back?

    Not seeing how this is a lose for her, especially if true.

    Answers all of the questions of whether she’s “too old” for the rigors of office.

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