Stephen Colbert Explains Why The Wealthy Need Yachts To Flee Hordes Of The Poor

Stephen Colbert is increasingly worried about downtrodden hordes going after him and his wealthy friends. “The barbarians are at the gated communities,” Colbert said. “We must be ready to flee at a moment’s notice.”

So Colbert was comforted by a recent full-page ad in Yachts International magazine. The ad reads, in part: “We used to sell yachts as luxury items. In today’s world, they’re really a necessity.”And Colbert agrees: He couldn’t imagine fleeing the collapse of society if his boat doesn’t have an onboard infinity pool. The ad continues: “If you ever get discouraged and think nobody in the world cares about you and your dreams, trust me, the boating industry does.”

“Oh, boating industry, you had me at ahoy,” Colbert said.

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