Donald Trump Declares His Debate A Giant Success

|
August 6, 2015 11:46 pm
JOIN TPM FOR JUST $1

Real estate mogul Donald Trump declared an incredible and brilliant victory for himself at the Republican presidential debate on Thursday night.

Here’s the victorious release:

Donald J. Trump was the unequivocal winner of tonight’s first Republican Primary debate hosted by FOX News. Mr. Trump, the definitive first place candidate in all recent national and state polls, proved himself to be a skillful debater, out performing his rivals with decisive responses and swift counter-attacks. Mr. Trump excelled in what was his first ever debate against a group of all talk, no action politicians.

Mr. Trump stated, “I am very proud of my great performance tonight. I am not a debater, but I am a winner. If I am elected I will make this country a total winner — I will Make America Great Again.”

Mr. Trump condemned the incessant calls for political correctness and instead called for action. Mr. Trump also addressed the total epidemic of illegal immigration and promised to secure the border once and for all with an impenetrable wall. Mr. Trump spoke about his great success as a businessman and discussed his pro-life stance. Mr. Trump’s truthful talk continues to resonate with voters across the country as he shares his vision to Make America Great Again.

Comments
Masthead Masthead
Editor & Publisher:
Executive Editor:
Managing Editor:
Senior Editor:
Special Projects Editor:
Investigations Desk:
Reporter:
Senior Newswriters:
Newswriters:
Editor at Large:
General Manager & General Counsel:
Executive Publisher:
Head of Product:
Director of Technology:
Publishing Associate:
Front-End Developer:
Senior Designer: