Toilet Tanks And Cereal Boxes: Gun Co. Offers ‘Dirty’ Tips For Hiding Your Handgun

May 28, 2014 3:21 p.m.

Proper storage is a vital part of responsible gun ownership. Many say that lock boxes and gun safes are the best bets. (The NRA disagrees.) But Beretta, the Italian gun manufacturer, recently came up with more unusual ideas.

Together with the gun news website, the manufacturer has put together a “down and dirty” guide to hiding handguns around the home. The ideas include stashing a gun in cereal boxes, laundry hampers, and old CD wallets.

“Be it from prying eyes, fingers or leaders, hiding your weapons is an integral part of safely owning firearms, and never more than when it comes to your handguns,” says the article, which appears to be a kind of sponsored content for the gun rights set. “Tips and tricks for keeping pistols undercover and accessible in the home has been a deep and long running theme in our comment box, and though we’d never endorse rashness, here’s the dirty to keeping your handguns out of sight (but never out of mind).”

The guide, which Beretta USA posted to its Facebook page last week, walks readers through different parts of a typical home, offering tips. It asks readers to consider a number of factors, including who a gun is being hidden from: “Kids? Thieves? Jackboots?”

“Storage styles fall on a spectrum between two categories, ‘go-to guns’ (primary weapons that can/will be accessed at a moments notice) and ‘backup guns’ (guns that are better hidden and harder to access, but may hold some specific strategic value),” the guide says.

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It offers a range of solutions to consider. It does praise “rapid access safes” for their ability to be stored discreetly. The problem, though, is that “they are all cost prohibitive.”

“To be sure, these are superior options for any gun owner looking to sidestep the access/security paradox, but for the other half, situation and terrain should, as always, determine tactics,” the guide says.

So where to put your gun besides a safe?

In a bathroom, the guide says, look to the linen closets and cabinets “for space to hang a small gun just above the door on the wall/panel closest to you (so that the gun would be directly over the head of someone rummaging through the space).” Toilet tanks work, as long as the handgun is “double (or triple) wrapped to avoid any moisture coming into contact with your gun or ammo.”

In a bedroom, a laundry hamper “offers a lot storage potential for handguns as thieves are usually not interested in your soiled clothes.”

In a kitchen, the options get even more varied. An empty cereal box on a high shelf is “a decent short term solution.” But be sure not to pick Trix, “they’re for kids.” You could also “go Walter White,” put your handgun in a Ziploc bag and then hide it in a freezer.

Finally, the living room.

“Thieves used to love CDs, but today, not so much,” the guide says. “A small CD wallet is a decent extra dirty solution to short term storage (and also one that migrates to the car easily). You can also make a ‘stash can’ by gluing several cds together and hollowing out the center (no gluing required sometimes for thick cased albums like The Wall). Have fun with the end albums too (may I suggest, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s ‘Gimme Back my Bullets’?). Works just as well for DVD cases.”

Near the top of the piece, the writers take a moment to anticipate a criticism of the tips: doesn’t revealing all these hiding places defeat the purpose of hiding the guns in the first place. The answer: get creative.

“Take the information here as inspiration and seek out creative and adaptive solutions on your own for full effect (custom solutions are often the best solutions),” the guide says. “The best place for your handgun may be on your person and in a gun safe at all other times.” promises that the article is just one in a series, urging readers to “stay tuned for more solutions on hiding your handgun at work, underground and on your person.”

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