Colbert Loves Christmas, Hates Gays Just As Much As Rick Perry

Stephen Colbert
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Stephen Colbert on Thursday defended a recent Rick Perry ad that turns the culture war up to 11. Perry is upset that gays can openly serve in the military, but America’s children can’t openly celebrate Christmas in school.

“Perry, I agree,” Colbert said. “Thanks to the gays, our children can’t openly celebrate the birth of our savior in school. And yet, these gays in the military can openly celebrate their favorite holiday: being away from their family, risking their lives in Afghanistan.”

Colbert is offended by those who would insult the Christmas lifestyle. “Unlike being gay, loving Christmas is not a choice,” Colbert said. The holiday excited the late-night TV host at a very young age. But it wasn’t until Colbert moved to New York that he really could come out of his yuletide shell.

“It wasn’t until I moved to New York and saw the Macy’s pride parade that I had the courage to throw on my thigh-high candy cane stockings and chant, ‘we’re here, we like reindeer, get used to it,'” Colbert said.

“I just pray for a day when Kringle Americans feel free to ‘don we now our gay apparel,'” Colbert added.

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