Malthus Meets P.T. Barnum

MCT/Newscom

When the end times arrive, you’ll thank your buddy Glenn Beck for selling you all that overpriced gold and you can toast him with supplies from the special survival pack that Beck is also hawking:

While your neighbors are struggling to find food, you will be dining on lasagna, beef stroganoff, and a variety of other delicious entrees. What’s more, this food will retain its nutritional value and freshness for up to ten years.

Not making this up.