Stephen Colbert Defends Pink Slime

Stephen Colbert is ashamed of liberals who all of a sudden have “beef with beef.” More specifically, it’s “pink slime,” the filler commonly used in ground beef and recently in the public eye.“Oh pink slime is bad, but green slime is good enough to dump on our children,” Colbert groaned, showing an archival Nickelodeon clip. “Pink slime is nothing more than good old beef mixed with some not so good, older beef.”

A trio of governors — dubbed by Colbert the “Beefstate Governors” — are proponents of the filler. Last week, Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Iowa Gov. Terry Branstad and Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback “rode to the rescue” to defend the pink slime. It’s time to end the smear campaign, they said. “Full disclosure,” Colbert added,” pink slime may also contain traces of smear.”

The slime’s official name is actually “lean finely textured beef,” or LFTB. “Because our beef now has so many hormones it’s a member of the transgender community,” Colbert said, proposing a new cheer: “We’re here, it’s steer, technically.”

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