Stephen Colbert has long been a staunch supporter of Herman Cain, and he’s not giving up on the former pizza CEO and one-time Republican presidential frontrunner over a paltry 13-year affair. But Colbert is worried we could lose him, after Cain said Tuesday he is “reassessing” his candidacy.
“Herman, don’t you leave this election-lovers pizza half baked,” Colbert said Tuesday. “There’s no reason for you to leave. A 13-year affair just proves you can carry on a stable relationship. Two, counting your marriage!”
And this affair, unlike the earlier allegations, was apparently consensual. “I’d say things are looking up,” Colbert said. “Compared to all that reaching-for-the-lady-parts-like-a-dachshund-going-after-a-ball-under-the-couch, these new allegations sound like leave it to … let’s not say beaver.”
Plus, Colbert added, if the allegations prove true, Cain’s only one extra-marital affair puts him well behind Newt Gingrich.
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