The World According To Fox’s Swashbuckling Charlie Gasparino

Enter a world where Mitt Romney is running for President in 2016, American men are suffering from “pussification,” and millennials are “fucking morons.”

It’s the world of Fox Business reporter Charlie Gasparino, a longtime journalist on Wall Street who has emerged as one of the Fox empire’s more colorful on-air personalities.

In a recent interview with Playboy, Gasparino self-identified as “a prick,” defended his “nuclear” Twitter tantrums, and declared he was viewed as the most liberal person at Fox. (He did not return TPM’s request for comment on Wednesday.)

“I agree with everything Elizabeth Warren said,” about Wall Street, he told the magazine. “Sometimes people at Fox think I have a little Trotskyite mustache. They think I’m a little too liberal.”

That may be. But just last week he incurred the wrath of a panel of “millennial” journalists, who dismissed his militant pro-boomer stance as cranky nonsense. Gasparino’s response was to call the three women intellectually deficient and move right along.

It was only one moment in Gasparino’s reel. Take a look at some of the hits below.

Young Women Reporters Are ‘Fucking Morons’

Under the chyron, “Millennial Takeover,” Gasparino told Fox News host and Fox Business colleague Neil Cavuto that criticisms from three women journalists didn’t bother him in the slightest.

“These kids are such fucking morons,” Gasparino said. “They’re stupider than we thought!”

Cavuto played the awkward defender, pointing out that one of the women critical of Gasparino was “beautiful,” before remembering to add, “smart.”

“She is,” Gasparino said calmly. “But she couldn’t wear my jockstrap as a reporter.”

America Is Carrying Out The ‘Pussification’ Of Men

But it’s not just the young women bugging Gasparino. In fact, according to him, American men have degenerated into a mass of coddled sissies.

In particular, he wasn’t impressed in March with the outrage over harsh language that Vanderbilt University basketball coach Kevin Stallings hurled at a rival player during a game.

“I think what he did to that kid is completely appropriate,” Gasparino said as the sole male on the web-only version of the afternoon Fox News panel show “Outnumbered.”

“The bigger story here is the wimpification of men that’s going on in this country,” he added. For perhaps the first time, Gasparino self-censored for a moment, holding back a harsher phrase. But his co-panelists egged him on.

“You can say whatever you want, it’s the web!” co-host Harris Faulkner reminded him, staring down at her iPad.

“So, pussification,” Gasparino said to gasps.

“Oh goodness gracious!” Faulkner shouted. “I didn’t know that was coming!”

Romney Is Leaving ‘The Door Open’ For 2016

“This is clearly what he is telling people,” Gasparino told a skeptical Tom Sullivan back in February. “Romney is clearly, according to the GOP operatives, leaving the door open for a possible 2016 run.”

His proof, naturally, came from Romney’s announcement that he would not seek the 2016 nomination.

“I’ve been asked, and will certainly be asked again, if there are any circumstances that will change my mind,” Romney said in his statement. “That seems unlikely.”

Gasparino, apparently citing anonymous GOP insiders, refused to back down to Sullivan and insisted that the word “unlikely” was key.

“This is what he’s telling people: Be aware of the word ‘unlikely’ in my speech last week,” Gasparino said.

His Former Colleague Is A Twinkie-Loving ‘Fat Slob’

Gasparino employs a scorched earth policy on Twitter.

After CNBC contributor Ron Insana gently mocked an advertisement featuring Gasparino, the latter launched into a relentless stream of bile, beginning with the simple phrase, “GFY fat boy.” (Using an acronym that often stands for “go fuck yourself.”)

Gasparino carried the feud onto live television during a Fox Business segment (in which he was supposed to be talking about finance) where he restated his critique of Insana as a “disgusting slob.”

Some highlights from the War of November 7, 2014:

@rinsana @SallyPancakes GFY fat boy

— Charles Gasparino (@CGasparino) November 7, 2014

the nitrates from all those twinkies @rinsana ingests has warped his memory @SallyPancakes

— Charles Gasparino (@CGasparino) November 7, 2014

@rinsana @SallyPancakes you will always be a fat slob i’d smack u silly but it wld be considered child abuse

— Charles Gasparino (@CGasparino) November 7, 2014

i promise this is my last one: ur a putrid balding disgusting fat-cat boot licking sycophantic douche @rinsana

— Charles Gasparino (@CGasparino) November 7, 2014

He Can Give Fox Interviews As If He Were Not A Fox Employee

Fox’s roving reporter Geraldo Rivera didn’t rove very far during a segment on public sector debauchery in May 2014 and ended up interviewing his colleague Gasparino as if he were your average man-on-the-street.

Gasparino was pulled aside at a restaurant, with no identifying title on-screen, and asked his opinions about an EPA employee who reportedly watched porn at work. (Gasparino was against it.)

“Here’s the problem: You can’t get away with that in private industry,” he said. “Government allows you to get away with it because essentially there’s no one watching the store.”

The moment was not lost on fellow host Gretchen Carlson once the news package was over.

“Somehow Charlie Gasparino and Lori Rothman from Fox Business Network —” she began.

“They’re right next door,” Rivera interrupted.

He Does Push-Ups On-Air With A Female Colleague On His Back

“You’ll see my very large rear end,” Gasparino said last year as the “Outnumbered” hosts cajoled him into proving his physical strength on-air.

Before long, Gasparino was clapping in between pushups, Travis Bickle-style.

That was not enough. Gasparino insisted he could do some more with one of the women on his back.

Soon, co-host Harris Faulker tip-toed over to the business reporter and climbed aboard. The rest of the panel applauded as he proceeded to squeeze out two or three pushups while Faulkner gasped.

“My dad was a marine,” Gasparino explained.

TPM illustration by Christine Frapech. Images via Fox News and AP.