The National Rifle Association has taken some heat this week after attempting what it saw as a family-friendly approach to to gun rights: inserting guns into classic fairy tale stories.
As part of its new family-oriented website, NRA Family, the organization reimagined popular fairy tales by arming the main characters with guns. The stories, which the NRA posted on its site and in the site’s newsletter, feature illustrations and stories by Amelia Hamilton, a conservative blogger and author.
The first, published on March 17, is called Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns), a new spin on the classic Brothers Grimm story. Instead of being nearly eaten by the witch, the brother and sister duo rescue another boy with guns loaded. They then to return to their village and tell their parents, who storm back guns-a-blazing to capture the witch.
Another story published Friday is a take on Little Red Riding Hood called—you guessed it—Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun). It follows a similar narrative, with both granny and Little Red packing heat and using their guns to scare the wolf so he can be tied up and carried away.
“As they slowly began to feel calm, Red got her grandmother chicken soup and a cup of tea,” the NRA version of the tale reads. “They sat in companionable silence, happy in the security that comes with knowing they could defend themselves.”
Not everyone is thrilled with these reimagined tales. Dan Gross, president of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, called the series a “depraved marketing campaign” and called the stories “pathetic.”
Next up:
There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in A Shoe
Who Had so Many Children she got distracted and left her guns loaded and unlocked where the children could find and play with them, so 3 of them ended up dead from bullets to the dome.
I love that one.
Next week, we’ll dive into the riveting tale of the Ugly Duckling who got so sick of the other ducklings’ taunting him at school, that he brought his father’s AR-15 to school and shot 15 other ducklings.
I’m afraid the NRA is pitching its newest marketing ploy to deaf ears. The kids today (my grandkids) don’t know about Hansel and Gretel or Red Riding Hood, or if they do it’s only in passing. It’s what happens when a bunch of old farts try to sell something without knowing their audience.
Li’l Red Riding Hood Wastes the Big Bad Wolf with her .357!!!
(head in hands)
I prefer the prequel - There once was a young woman who was unable to access reproductive health care and didn’t know what to do.
Its a little racier, but if she had a gun back then, maybe she could’ve chased off some of those baby daddies.
The Three Little Pigs now sees our wolf, an obese, chain-smoking channel surfer without the lung capacity to huff and puff and blow down anything, carrying his [insert gun name here] into the woods. Wolf comes across Industrious Hog Commune, raises his weapon and mows them all down in “a hail of bullets”. Wolf moves into the House Made Out of Bricks and lives off of ham and bacon for weeks until Wolf dies of a massive heart attack because… Obama
(still need to work on that ending)