It was clear from the beginning that Arizona Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett wasn’t too thrilled that he had to report for jury duty.
“Anybody knows how long jury duty last?” he tweeted to his more than 191,000 followers on Tuesday morning.
A few minutes later, perhaps after learning how time-consuming his civic commitment would be, Dockett’s curiosity had turned into an anguished lament.
Damn I got jury duty today!!! Fuck! I’m not the one for this.. ?
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
He’s been tweeting from the courthouse pretty much nonstop since then, insisting repeatedly that he isn’t qualified to weigh-in on the case.
I’m the wrong guy to be put on jury duty. Dude is innocent in my book. It’s all he say and she say. I wish I could talk to the guy.
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
It’s hard for me to sit in jury duty and make decisions and give my opinions for some one actions. It’s crazy to see how this system works.
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
Honestly I don’t know if I can speak on this case or not but yall know I don’t give a shit. But yall so damn sensitive. I can’t be real.?
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
Who am I to make a decision on someone freedom. I’m not a judgmental and Im not sensitive. I could care less about someone opinion.
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
He ordered a pizza.
I just told this guy Im hungry and he’s like I can’t leave.. wtf U mean I can’t eat! Ok watch this. Im gonna order pizza off this app! F.U.!
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
I’m going back into this discussion, brb! Pizza on the way. Gonna look at the details more, and give my opinion. They ask me to speak. ?wtf
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
Hold up!!!!!!! I think I’m gonna get kicked out!! For my comment saying “yall had this guy guilty no matter what” and my pizza is here!?
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
He mocked a bald man in a courtroom.
I just walked in to another court room . Look at this guy ball spot.. He should be getting judged too!! #guilty pic.twitter.com/mkO5gQ79YU
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
He flouted the court house’s parking restrictions.
They have no idea Im am double parked in a handicap spot out side this court house in a 450k car with a registered pistol. Who am I to judge
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
All the while, he held out hope that someone would let him go home.
By late afternoon, Dockett suspected that a cop had been deployed near him to put a stop to the deluge of tweets. It didn’t work.
They bring this big ass police in here like he supposed to scare me while I’m looking like I don’t give a shit. I’m like you want ☕️ and ?
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
I’m about to ask the big ass police officer can I use his mophie off his iPhone my batt going low! He better say yeah!
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
What, pray tell, is ‘Jury Dury?’
Once the Judge finds out about this series of Tweets, Dockett will learn the meaning, and consequences, of Civil Contempt.
Hahahaha, that’s fucking priceless LMAO
I wonder if he got his pizza.
I dunno…looks like from where he was sitting he might have just been in the jury selection phase, in which case, acting like an idiot to get out of jury duty by not being selected is somewhat of an artform and Amurikan pastime or sport.