Non-‘Politically Correct’ Local GOPer Charged For Pinching Woman’s Groin

A Republican politician in Connecticut who was caught on a security camera pinching the genitals of a woman who he was arguing with about politics was arrested and charged with sexual assault last week, The Westport Weston reported.

The Dec. 8 incident apparently happened after Christopher von Keyserling, a member of Greenwich’s Representative Town Meeting, encountered the unnamed woman in a hallway of an unnamed town facility, according to the local paper.

The woman lamented that “it was a new world politically” given Donald Trump’s election, to which von Keyserling allegedly replied “I love this new world, I no longer have to be politically correct,” according to the arrest warrant obtained by the paper.

Von Keyserling also allegedly called the woman “a lazy, bloodsucking union employee,” according to the warrant. Following a tense exchange, the woman went into her office and von Keyserling allegedly followed, saying he wanted to speak with her coworker. The woman told police that after the coworker said she didn’t have time to speak with von Keyserling, she left with the coworker because she didn’t want to be alone with him.

As she walked by to follow the coworker out, von Keyserling allegedly pinched the woman’s groin area, according to the warrant. The woman reported the alleged incident the next day, after she said she found out von Keyserling had allegedly behaved “in a similar way with other employees.”

When confronted by a detective, von Keyserling said “he was sorry he pinched her, and … it has gotten this out of hand,” according to the warrant. He later told police the “little pinch” he gave was a result of the “kind” of relationship he had with the unnamed woman.

The Weston reported that Von Keyserling was charged with fourth-degree sexual assault on Wednesday. He was released on $2,500 bond and scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 25.

His lawyer told Greenwich Time that this “was a playful gesture, in front of witnesses. It was too trivial to be considered anything of significance. To call it a sexual assault is not based in reality.”

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  1. When confronted by a detective, von Keyserling said “he was sorry he pinched her, and … it has gotten this out of hand,” according to the warrant.

    Sorry, you SOB, out of hand was exactly what this wasn’t. Oh what the chief pussy grabber has wrought. Ladies, knee the bastards.

  2. Tiny bit of the chaos brought to us courtesy of Trump.

  3. Von Keyserling also allegedly called the woman “a lazy, bloodsucking union employee,” according to the warrant.

    He clearly has a great deal of anger and hate towards this woman, “Pinching” her was the only version of assault he could do to her outside of a lethal blow. He didn’t realize that he’d be caught and arrested.

  4. “He later told police the ‘little pinch’ he gave was a result of the ‘kind’ of relationship he had with the unnamed woman.”

    Whew!

    For a minute there, I thought it was sexual assault.

    Glad to know it was just good, clean GOP fun in our new-and-improved Trump’s America™.

  5. Avatar for darcy darcy says:

    Who ‘pinches’ a woman in the groin area? Pinch on the ass, sure, know about that. But pinching a woman in the groin area? Never even heard of that.

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