President Donald Trump killed two birds with one stone Tuesday, using the traditional turkey pardoning as cover to sneak in some potshots at election recounts, House Democrats and the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals.
First, Trump took aim at the state-mandated recounts conducted in Florida, from which the Republicans—Sen.-elect Rick Scott and Gov.-elect Ron DeSantis—came out ahead.
“The winner of this vote was decided by a fair and open election conducted on the White House website,” Trump said of the two turkeys, Peas and Carrots. “This was a fair election. Unfortunately, Carrots refused to concede and demanded a recount and we are fighting with Carrots. We have come to a conclusion. Carrots, I’m sorry to tell you the result did not change. Too bad for Carrots.”
Neither Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson nor Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum had to request a recount; both vote tallies were close enough to trigger an automatic recount in the Florida senator and governor races.
Trump: “Too bad, Carrots.” pic.twitter.com/0fnOGYhWil
— TPM Livewire (@TPMLiveWire) November 20, 2018
Trump then took aim at House Democrats, who plan to use their newfound subpoena power to get elucidation on such issues as the Trump Organization’s money trail.
“Even though Peas and Carrots have received a presidential pardon, I have warned them that House Democrats are likely to issue them both subpoenas,” Trump joked.
“Nonetheless, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I will be issuing both Peas and Carrots a presidential pardon,” he continued. “Unfortunately I can’t guarantee that they won’t be enjoined by the 9th Circuit. Always happens.”
The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals has long been a boogeyman for conservatives, and has blocked some of Trump’s top policy desires, like ending DACA.
Trump jokes about Turkey presidential pardon: Can’t promise Dems won’t subpoena you! pic.twitter.com/y4an1tqODE
— TPM Livewire (@TPMLiveWire) November 20, 2018
Gosh he’s funny. Isn’t he funny? A lot of people are saying he’s the funniest! You all know how funny he is! Trump himself should be the entertainment at the White House Corrspondents dinner! That’s what I’ve heard. Everybody is asking him to do it!
Ass.
So. Incredibly. Lame.
The moron had only one public appearance to make today, and it involved two turkeys, the rest of the day is going to be traveling by helicopter and plane and winding up in Palm Beach. But still he’s incapable of not fucking up with only two birds as straight men.
my question is; why is MELANIO wearing a coat with a target on the front…and who made her wear it?
Annual Turkey Pardon is longest running unfunny joke in this country.
Can Some brave Congress-critter please sponsor the legislation to prohibit?