With Halloween just around the corner, Stephen Colbert on Wednesday had some tough words for those trying to spoil the spooky fun.
Apparently there’s a new trend this year: costume swapping, to keep old costumes from ending up in landfills.
“This is political correctness gone bad,” Colbert said. “Before you know it, we’ll need to buy carbon offsets to leave a flaming bag of poop on a doorstep.”
Environmentalism goes against everything Halloween stands for, he added: rampant consumerism and waste.
“Like clear cutting a forest, pulping the trees into lush, three-ply toilet paper, shipping the rolls on diesel trucks to air conditioned grocery stores, where we buy them and, as a heartless final insult, hurl them at their still-living cousins.”
But that’s not all. A Christian group in Texas is reportedly encouraging people to ditch the sexy and scary costumes for sheets of white and Bibles. They’re calling it Jesus Ween.
“Because dressing in white and handing out bibles is sure to make your house the creepiest one on the block,” Colbert said.
The group is selling it as an alternative to Halloween — a decision Colbert doesn’t quite understand.
“Think about it, Jesus rose from the dead, he’s the original zombie,” Colbert said.
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