Stephen Colbert could not be more excited about the 2012 Republican presidential field, comparing the candidates to “the perfect appetizer sampler platter.”
“You’ve got pizza bites (Herman Cain), crazy bread (Michele Bachmann), boiled potato (Newt Gingrich), Texas toast (Rick Perry), foie gras (Mitt Romney), imitation foie gras (Jon Huntsman) un-inspected squirrel jerky (Ron Paul) all with a Santorum dipping sauce,” Colbert said Tuesday.But there’s one non-candidate candidate Colbert was most excited about: New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. Colbert couldn’t bring himself to watch Christie’s Tuesday press conference officially announcing he won’t run for president.
Because Colbert has loved the “delicate dance” between the media and Christie, where he can be both in and out of the race in the same sentence.
“Christie has become Schrodinger’s candidate, like the theoretical cat in a box that is simultaneously alive and dead until the box is open,” Colbert said. As long as we don’t know if he’s running, Christie is a lock for the Republican nomination.”
Unfortunately, we’ve got a “dead cat.” “Then again, a dead cat might still be more appealing than Mitt Romney.”