‘Drill, Baby, Drill’: Maher Mocks Murdoch’s Move Into ‘Romance’ Novels

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HBO host Bill Maher couldn’t resist after this week’s news that conservative media titan Rupert Murdoch’s company had purchased a publishing company known for its sultry “romance” novels.

“I think their conservative agenda is going to get in the mix,” Maher said of NewsCorp’s $415 million acquisition of Harlequin, a publisher that churns out more than 110 books a month, with titles like “Relentless Seduction.”

So Maher imagined Friday what a Murdoch-run soft-core porn publisher might look like, reading from his own mock book, “Love’s Fair and Balanced Desire.”

It told the tale of a love triangle between Rachel Winterhave, “a home-schooled virgin brain nurse,” Dax Random, “a widower whose wife had died in the War on Christmas,” and a Latino orderly named Hector.

The NSFW segment included conservative dirty talk — “Drill, baby, drill” — and similes only a conservative audience could love. One character’s manhood grew “ever larger and larger, like the deficit under Obama.”

“Don’t bother,” Rachel tells Dax as he attempts to practice safe sex. “My body has a way of shutting that whole thing down.”

The full video is available via Mediaite.

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Notable Replies

  1. Rush writing children’s books? Rupert publishing romance novels?..the comedy is unintentional, but the market positioning to vacuum dollars from their Baggerstan viewership is not.

  2. Avatar for jep07 jep07 says:

    You really CAN’T make this stuff up… and you really don’t have to. Just string a bunch of wingnut cliche’s together and you have comedy… there’s certainly no dearth of material available.

  3. No need for Murdock to publish fiction when the new Koch Brothers biography has all the making of a soft porn thriller. What else were we to expect from those that have repeatedly expressed their admiration for fascist dictators and world domination of the colored man?

    Their Old Man (founder of the John Birch Society) had the kids actually stabbing each other in the back with swords, swinging mallets to the head that left a huge scar and blackmailing and/or suing each other over their sexual preferences and escapades.

    Nothing like displaying your family values by publicly evicting a mistress from your love nest after she shares some of your more graphic texts with the world, lavishly holding orgies with Hollywood starlets, being caught by police beating up a wife and the kids with a big belt and giving one ex-wife an extra $16 to keep her mouth shut about all of the juicy details.

    Since Faux News isn’t news any longer to anyone, Murdock might as well tap all GOP phones and have that award winning child porn writer Rush Limbaugh give us the scoop on Sex and the Conservative Country Club Set?

  4. Don’t forget Lynne Cheney’s lesbian love fiction or Scooter Libby’s foray into writing hard core bestiality novels. I believe Donald Trump might have been inspired by Scooter’s exotica when he coined his NBC show “The Apprentice”?

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