Stephen Colbert made a juicy revelation during his show on Thursday night: the safe word he uses while being spanked by Fox News host Sean Hannity.
“The Colbert Report” host played video from Hannity’s own show earlier in the week in which the Fox News host took off his belt on live television and began beating his desk. Hannity was defending the use of corporal punishment on children, but Colbert saw something else in it.
“Pumpkin patch!” Colbert shouted. “Pumpkin patch! Pumpkin patch!”
“I’m sorry,” Colbert explained. “I’m sorry, just, uh, ‘pumpkin patch’ was the safe word that Sean and I agreed on.”
Hannity’s dramatic and surreal spanking demonstration took place during a discussion on Tuesday night about National Football League star Adrian Peterson, who was recently charged with a crime for allegedly disciplining one of his sons with a switch.
Hannity defended the practice and revealed that he was spanked as a child by his own father. Hannity said he deserved the lashings, and he turned out OK.
“I was not mentally bruised because my father hit me with a belt,” the Fox News host said.
On Colbert’s show on Thursday night, the comedian went on to explain why Hannity was correct.
“Sean’s dad whipped him with a belt and he never needed to go to a psychotherapist,” Colbert said. “He just has to have them on his show three times a week.”
Colbert went on from there.
“Mentally, he grew up to be a psychologically healthy adult who cleaves desperately to strong authority figures, lashes out at any perceived weakness and takes his belt off on live TV,” he said. “Still, perfectly normal.”
Eventually, Colbert took off his own belt and began to whip his desk while shouting.
Watch the video below, courtesy of Comedy Central:
The Colbert Report
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Shortly after the show Hannity called Colbert to thank him for his steadfast support.
Whip me.
Beat me.
Call me Edna.
jw1
The fact that Hannity thought it was appropriate discipline the time his Father “punched me in the face” shows just how warped Hannity’s thought process is.
Brilliant.
Just fucking brilliant.
Hannity’s still trying to overcome his much deserved self-loathing.