Clinton Thanks Secret Service: ‘Grateful’ For Agents, ‘Never More Than This Week’

Notable Replies

maximus says:

October 25, 2018

Really nice that the Secret Service actually has worthwhile people to protect.

Must be a refreshing change…
erik_t says:

October 25, 2018

A little levity from the Onion, which somehow hasn’t been put out of work by reality yet…

Man Just Knows Hillary Clinton Going To Have Opinion On Not Dying In Explosion
SPRINGFIELD, IL—Saying he wished the former presidential candidate would “shut up and go away for once,” area man Justin Irsay told reporters Wednesday that he “just knows Hillary Clinton is going to have an opinion” on not dying in a pipe-bomb explosion. “Oh God, she’s going to be out there spouting some comments and making this all about her,” said Irsay, growing increasingly agitated as he imagined Clinton’s likely response to the homemade explosive device mailed to her home and addressed to her personally. “She can’t let anything go. The election was two years ago, for christsakes! It’s like, ‘Hey, Hillary—you lost. Can you get off my TV now?’ Jesus.” Irsay went on to state that dwelling on serial pipe bombings all the time would likely cost Democrats the 2020 election.
haddockbranzini says:

October 25, 2018

erik_t:

Man Just Knows Hillary Clinton Going To Have Opinion On Not Dying In ExplosionSPRINGFIELD, IL—Saying he wished the former presidential candidate would “shut up and go away for once,” area man Justin Irsay told reporters Wednesday that he “just knows Hillary Clinton is going to have an opinion” on not dying in a pipe-bomb explosion. “Oh God, she’s going to be out there spouting some comments and making this all about her,” said Irsay, growing increasingly agitated as he imagined Clinton’s likely response to the homemade explosive device mailed to her home and addressed to her personally. “She can’t let anything go. The election was two years ago, for christsakes! It’s like, ‘Hey, Hillary—you lost. Can you get off my TV now?’ Jesus.” Irsay went on to state that dwelling on serial pipe bombings all the time would likely cost Democrats the 2020 election.

When did the Onion switch to straight news?

Or:

When did Maggie Haberman start writing for the Onion?
mrf says:

October 25, 2018

Notice how Trump could barely muster support for law enforcement nor reach out to the victims of this attempted bombing.
becca656 says:

October 25, 2018

I’m sure the next thing out of the Orange thing will be a tweet that her protection should be removed, since she’s no longer a government official.

Wait for it.