Jon Stewart Rips Secessionists In Wake Of Obama Victory

Jon Stewart
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Quoting legendary chocolatier Willy Wonka, Jon Stewart on Tuesday had a message for secession enthusiasts and business owners who threatened employees over President Obama’s re-election: “Stop. Don’t come back.”

In the wake of Obama’s election victory, the White House’s website has been inundated with petitions to secede. And even before Obama secured the win, CEOs and business owners were already threatening to lay off employees and cut benefits if the president won another term.

“At least now I’m beginning to understand why southern states were always so hesitant to get rid of the Confederate Flag,” Stewart said. “It’s like keeping your fat pants after you lose some weight. You’re happy for now with the new you, but you’re pretty sure you’re gonna need those pants again.”

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