Colbert Rails Against Trump, Announces His Own GOP Debate

December 7, 2011 5:06 a.m.

Donald Trump and Stephen Colbert are great friends. They have the world’s “No. 1-rated friendship,” in fact. So it was with much adoration that Colbert on Tuesday called Trump — and his GOP debate — a “joke.”In an epic, Trump-inspired tirade, Colbert said: “The guy’s a clown, only with more makeup. … I wouldn’t trust him with a burnt match. … This guy’s not a king-maker, he’s small potatoes. Fingerlings. He’s a child. He’s a toddler wearing man-pants. (He) looks like a gin-soaked raisin (that) fell into a nuclear reactor.”

And Colbert isn’t about to let Trump have all the debate fun. After all, Republican debates are in such short supply this primary season. So, Colbert officially announced his own “South Carolina Serious, Classy Republican Debate.” “I am doing this, you hear that, Donald?” Colbert said. “It’s going to be on Animal Planet in January, we’ll figure out the date later.”

Colbert promises it will be the highest-rated debate in the history of television. Why? “Because whoever wins, I’m going to marry them,” Colbert said. “Call me, candidates, this offer expires when I say it does.”

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