Newt Spokesman Pens Epic Poem In Tribute To Gingrich’s Heroic Crusade Against The Media

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
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Newt Gingrich has taken some potshots at the press since his campaign went off the rails on Sunday’s Meet The Press, but it’s nothing compared to the spectacular anti-media tirade that his spokesman offered up today.

Asked by the Huffington Post’s Michael Calderone for his take on Gingrich’s treatment in the news, spokesman Rick Tyler launched into what could only be described as an epic poem recounting his candidate’s heroic journey.

“The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding,” Tyler wrote in an e-mail. “Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world.”

He continued: “The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness.They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles.”

As for Gingrich’s role in this drama, Tyler cast him as a fantasy hero straight out of Arthurian legend.

“But surely they had killed him off,” he wrote. “This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.”

Given Gingrich’s impressive literary pedigree, which includes a number of novels, Tyler appears to have found the right candidate.

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