This is an exciting day. We are standing in the middle of history, and we are celebrating a victory for human rights. For years to come, on this date, we will remember that five out of nine Supreme Court justices stood up for marriage equality, civil liberty and the LGBTQ community. For some, today marks a new beginning as a legally equal citizen of these Unites States of America. Others stand in the shadow of that enduring rainbow of justice. For them, today is not about celebration or pride, but the end of a long-held ruse.
Yes, for commitment-phobes who have been stalling their significant others with promises of marriage “once it’s legal for everyone,” the jig is up.
I have to hand it to you all. For some time now, you’ve made your resistance to marriage seem almost romantic. Your partner didn’t even know you were so passionate about this subject. Even YOU didn’t know you were so passionate about this subject! But one day, they came downstairs and into the living room sighing and shuffling their feet. They sat next to you on the couch, and held out their phone for you to read. Suddenly, what started out as a perfectly gorgeous morning was plunged into darkness. Their best friend sent a picture of a hand adorned with an engagement ring. Not just an engagement ring, but THE engagement ring. Now, your partner is looking at you with puppy dog eyes, and really leaning into those sighs, so you turn on the news, and there it is. Your escape route.
The newscaster is going on and on about some state’s recent ban on same sex marriage, so you turn to your partner and say, “How can your best friend being getting married when the climate is so terrible for so many people out there? I mean, I couldn’t do it. As much as I love you, it would feel wrong to disrespect all those couples who can’t show their love the way we can. Doesn’t that just feel wrong?”
When your partner nodded, tears in the corners of their eyes, held rapt by the intensity of your devotion to everyone’s right to marriage, you breathed your own sigh of relief. You did it. Goddamn it, you really did it.
Now, your partner has spent the past few years telling their friends and family that yours is a civically-engaged partnership, committed to social justice, and you will not be making any vows that same sex couples would not be allowed to take. Sure, this meant you had to pay a little more attention to the news, maybe participate in a rally or two, but still the chances seemed good that wouldn’t have to sign those papers for a good long while. I mean, Indiana just tried to ban same-sex marriage like a month ago, right? Surely it’ll be years before America has this all figured out. Right?
Wrong.
Sorry to break it to you, friend, but The Supreme Court made marriage equality the law of the land before 10 a.m. Your partner is heading home from work right now, and it’s fair to assume they believe you’ve already bought the ring and will be proposing this weekend if not tonight. As far as I can see, you have three options: 1) Run for your single life, but you’ll have to leave everything you own behind, including your name. 2) Fake a coma. 3) Go to Jared.
You had a great run. Your partner has been more than patient. You’ve loved and liked it for years.
Now, you gotta put a ring on it.
Ashley C. Ford is a writer who lives in New York by way of Indiana, with work in The Guardian, BuzzFeed.Com, The Huffington Post, and a other web and print publications. You can find her at @iSmashFizzle on Twitter.
What about the commitment-phobes who want to marry their chair? The slippery slope is here!
As has been oft said, there’s no reason the curse of marriage should be restricted to straight people.
Cheers to all who can now demonstrate their commitment of love in the wake of this tremendous victory for equality! We all love you and wish you all the best!!
LOL!
Straight people got no excuse, now. OMG!
Not true! Right-wing bigots everywhere will have a reason to boycott the institution of marriage until it is returned to its true, original, divinely-ordained state.
A writer I know is polyamorous and bi, and some years ago when gay marriage was just starting to become possible, she wrote that it was actually easier for her without it, because there wasn’t much pressure to “settle down and be normal”; she couldn’t marry her girlfriend, or that other person she occasionally slept with, so she also got left alone about the boyfriend, etc. She was entirely sympathetic to the cause, but it was easier for her before.