On Fox: "Did you want to hate [the speech]? Well, you got it, tune in to Fox," Stewart said.
On MSNBC: "What if you wanted to love the speech? But what if you were afraid to love again, and didn't want to be hurt? Go to MSNBC"
On CNN: "What about all the people who watched the speech, but found it too straightforward and understandable? Well, there's always CNN."
Here's the video: