Comedy Central comedian Stephen Colbert was tapped Thursday as the successor to late-night legend David Letterman’s “Late Show” throne. He’ll necessarily drop his blowhard-conservative persona from “The Colbert Report” when he heads to the “Late Show” — but thankfully we won’t have to say goodbye to the Colbert character’s biting satire until Letterman officially retires in 2015. Revel in five of Colbert’s most brilliant moments on the “Report” in the meantime.
Colbert Vanquishes The “Dark Forces” Of #CancelColbert
Just two weeks ago, Colbert incensed a bunch of Twitter activists with a joke about Asian stereotypes that was aimed at lampooning Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder. The hashtag #CancelColbert was a phenomenon for all of three days before Colbert addressed the dustup on air and declared that the hashtag activists had been “thwarted.”
Sir Patrick Stewart Parodies Obamacare “Horror Story” Victims
The comedian one-upped Americans for Prosperity when he found a real real-life victim of Obamacare: a Louisiana worker suffering from deadly “fisherman’s foot” named Chuck Duprey, who bore a strong resemblance to Sir Patrick Stewart and could act out a death scene just as well as the Shakespearean actor.
Obamacare Wreaks Havoc On Papa John’s Pizza
When the CEO of Papa John’s predicted that Obamacare would force him to raise the price of his pizza by 14 cents, Colbert sounded the alarm. “That’s three times the value of a Papa John’s pizza,” Colbert said. “Obama expects you to shell out almost three extra nickels for this hot turd pie? Fuck that, eat the nickels, you have your dignity.”
The Benghazi Hearings Proved Congressional Republicans “Suck At Their Jobs”
Colbert showed how what was supposed to be a grilling of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on the deadly 2012 attacks in Benghazi, Libya turned out to be an embarrassment for congressional Republicans — it was like Clinton “walked out with their nuts in her attaché case.”
Colbert Anoints Man On Road Signs The Ideal GOP Candidate
In the 2012 race, Obama was beating every single GOP candidate in the polls — with the exception of one nameless, generic Republican that ticked all the boxes for voters. With a strong stride, family values and a briefcase that indicated business experience, it had to be that stick figure on road signs.
