The Most Insane Products From Glenn Beck’s Insane Clothing Line

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Conservative pundit and entrepeneur Glenn Beck is known for his erratic reign at Fox News, his radio show, and of course, his famous chalkboard — but he is less well known as the founder of the relentlessly patriotic clothing line 1791 Supply & Co. Denim.

“I started 1791 to be a beacon of light, to be a company that believes that all people are capable of being the best versions of themselves,” Beck writes on the company’s glossy website.

Beck has also expressed his distaste for mainstream sellers such as Levi Strauss, after the famous denim company cut an ad that Beck felt had a “socialist” message.

The name of the small-government firebrand’s own “shoppe” is a reference to the year the Bill of Rights was ratified and the company boasts of “American-made goods that can last you a lifetime.”

On Thursday, Beck announced a new clothing line for women in a rambling Facebook post, in which he described his passion to come up with denim products “designed for and tested on all the girls in my life.”

But the new women’s line is hardly the most conspicuous piece of Beck’s fashion venture. Below are some of Beck’s most bizarre products, meant to capture “the rugged individualism that made this country great.

$200 “George Washington Life Guard Flag Quilt Kit”

Beck never misses a chance to venerate the Founding Fathers, and he has made sure the spirit of George Washington lives on in quilt-form.

$80 ‘Man Made Wash’

It’s body wash, for $80.

Papa Wolf Beard Oil

The closest thing to snake oil on the entire site, this product will “tame that wild mane, keeping you dapper until the next sunrise.”

A Series Of Shirts With Santa Claus On Them

The company appears to have a line year-round Christmas products, including a throw rug and an album.

A $200 ‘Lincoln Axe’

“[W]e know that life requires you to swing hard, and not lose your head,” the description for this item reads. “Therefore, 1791 has made a special edition axe to commemorate this special American.”

An Autographed Poster Of Glenn Beck Crying

This print of the founder himself weeping is filed under “Art.”

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Notable Replies

  1. You don’t sell the steak; you sell the swindle.

  2. Judging strictly from the prices, Beck worships Mammon.

  3. Jesus Christ on a Cracker… what next? I’m surprised he doesn’t sell one of his turds as a Holy Turd completely odorless and sanitary. It will remind everyone to have faith in the shit that they do everyday! Must have for the rugged outdoorsman that are not house broken.

  4. And seriously, that picture of Beck with the tear rolling down his cheek just screams “GRIFTER!”

  5. Now I know what really happened to Andy Kaufman; thru plastic surgery and brilliant scripting we are witnessing the best, longest running piece of performance art ever created. You can stop now Andy and take your bows, but please, stop.

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