Stewart ran through all the ways America has tried to deal with those of the Muslim faith since Sept. 11 ("sanctions, appeasement, invasions") but noted the particular problem presented by Muslim-Americans since "we can't invade ourselves."
"We've tried pelting Muslims with metal crosses while they pray, or engaging Muslims in reasoned discussion," Stewart joked as he aired TPM's footage showing protestors yelling "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" at a Muslim man praying in front of the White House after two competing anti-Sharia rallies wrapped up.
"It's like they're trying to make the guy miss a free throw," Stewart joked.
"Folks," Stewart said in his best basketball commentator voice, "it's our Muslim's fifth and final prayer of the day, and the hometown crowd is really coming alive, doing everything they can to keep this prayer from reaching Allah. He's facing both Mecca, and elimination from the prayer tournament."
"But so far," Stewart said, "none of this stuff is working -- there are still Muslims. Getting a free pass on their Muslim-iness."
Stewart said that according to King "it's not enough for U.S. Muslims to be law-abiding. To avoid congressional investigation, they have to be actively stopping terror plots."
"Oh my God, just wait until they find out I've done nothing to stop the West Bank settlements," Stewart joked. "We don't drag every Italian in New York City before Congress to find out why they haven't yet broken up the Gambino family."
Then he brought on Italian celebrity chef Mario Batali to ask him where mob boss Jimmy Hoffa was buried. Stewart also played unveiled an old clip of King speaking favorably of the Irish Republican Army (IRA).
"Wait until Congressman Peter King gets a hold of terrorist-sympathizer Peter King," joked Stewart. "That's gonna be a shit storm!"