Real estate mogul Donald Trump declared an incredible and brilliant victory for himself at the Republican presidential debate on Thursday night.
Here’s the victorious release:
Donald J. Trump was the unequivocal winner of tonight’s first Republican Primary debate hosted by FOX News. Mr. Trump, the definitive first place candidate in all recent national and state polls, proved himself to be a skillful debater, out performing his rivals with decisive responses and swift counter-attacks. Mr. Trump excelled in what was his first ever debate against a group of all talk, no action politicians.
Mr. Trump stated, “I am very proud of my great performance tonight. I am not a debater, but I am a winner. If I am elected I will make this country a total winner — I will Make America Great Again.”
Mr. Trump condemned the incessant calls for political correctness and instead called for action. Mr. Trump also addressed the total epidemic of illegal immigration and promised to secure the border once and for all with an impenetrable wall. Mr. Trump spoke about his great success as a businessman and discussed his pro-life stance. Mr. Trump’s truthful talk continues to resonate with voters across the country as he shares his vision to Make America Great Again.
What the fuck just happened?
His answers were all basically bullshit, but the other candidates didn’t really touch him. But I was somewhat surprised that Fox seemed to turn on him. I guess they really really want to win in 2016. Not that they have a favorite political party, of course.
Well, I can say I’m pretty sure he declared that even before the debate. That’s just how yoooge of a success it was.
After the debate, he went out to one of his many golf courses and hit eleven holes-in-one in a single round.
"Mr. Trump stated, “I am very proud of my great performance tonight. I am
not a debater, but I am a winner. If I am elected I will make this
country a total winner”
I’m gonna hold him to this comment should he get elected. If we lose once at ANYTHING it’s gonna be his frigging problem.