Stephen Colbert returned from hiatus Monday ready to explain the unappreciated nuance of Rep. Louie Gohmert’s recent remarks on gays in the military.
When Gohmert (R-TX) argued that that gays shouldn’t be allowed in the military because “getting massages all day” would make the U.S. vulnerable to terrorism, few people appreciated the historical knowledge on display, according to “The Colbert Report” host.
Colbert backed up Gohmert’s references to the open homosexuality in the militarized societies of Ancient Greece.
“The Greeks were the most fabulous army in history,” he said. “It’s why they fought packed together in a phalanx, a.k.a. the man-on-man massage cube!”
But like Gohmert, the host agreed that this kind of decadence has no place in the War on Terror.
Finally, Colbert concluded with a defense of Gohmert’s intellectual capacity.
“People have said to me, Stephen, you gotta understand, you don’t even know your history. You’re dumb. You’re dense. You’re a mental midget with the I.Q. of a butter dish whose mind is a black hole that sucks all surrounding thought into it in an infinite singularity of pure stupidity. Stephen, I’m surprised you can ever dress yourself — I bet you have to rub peanut butter inside your lips to remember your mouth to breathe.”
“I have never met and I hope to never meet again a man so pervasively, astoundingly, unyieldingly ignorant — to which I say, then you have not met Louie Gohmert!”
Watch below, courtesy of Comedy Central:
