Stephen Colbert returned from hiatus Monday ready to explain the unappreciated nuance of Rep. Louie Gohmert’s recent remarks on gays in the military.
When Gohmert (R-TX) argued that that gays shouldn’t be allowed in the military because “getting massages all day” would make the U.S. vulnerable to terrorism, few people appreciated the historical knowledge on display, according to “The Colbert Report” host.
Colbert backed up Gohmert’s references to the open homosexuality in the militarized societies of Ancient Greece.
“The Greeks were the most fabulous army in history,” he said. “It’s why they fought packed together in a phalanx, a.k.a. the man-on-man massage cube!”
But like Gohmert, the host agreed that this kind of decadence has no place in the War on Terror.
Finally, Colbert concluded with a defense of Gohmert’s intellectual capacity.
“People have said to me, Stephen, you gotta understand, you don’t even know your history. You’re dumb. You’re dense. You’re a mental midget with the I.Q. of a butter dish whose mind is a black hole that sucks all surrounding thought into it in an infinite singularity of pure stupidity. Stephen, I’m surprised you can ever dress yourself — I bet you have to rub peanut butter inside your lips to remember your mouth to breathe.”
“I have never met and I hope to never meet again a man so pervasively, astoundingly, unyieldingly ignorant — to which I say, then you have not met Louie Gohmert!”
Watch below, courtesy of Comedy Central:
The sloppiness here is spiraling out of control. Remarkably, TPM has yet again embedded the wrong video.
Here’s a link to the clip:
Which is more silly? The Moon is made of cheese or Little Louie was Chief Justice on Texas’s 12th Court of Appeals.
Thanks for the link.
And the worst of it was, I had to watch that stupid Bud Light ad twice.
“I bet you have to rub peanut butter inside your lips to remember your mouth to breathe.”
WOW bwahahaha…+100 for use of “remember” in that sentence.