Breitbart's John Hayward had no trouble checking off each of those boxes.
"I would imagine the woman who went into labor in Los Angeles, but had to wait across the street from the hospital while His Majesty's mighty motorcade rolled past en route to his next big-bucks fundraiser, is probably tired of the 'bear is loose' crap too," Hayward wrote.
As noted by the folks over at Michelle Malkin's Twitchy, conservatives on Twitter really liked the "King Obama" angle. It also suited The Daily Caller's Sean Medlock, who writes under the pen name "Jim Treacher."
Naturally, Medlock used the nickname for Obama.
Medlock later bragged that he was rewarded for his efforts with a coveted link on the Drudge Report.
The story was first reported by The Blaze's Oliver Darcy, who quoted an eyewitness at the scene.
“I felt bad for her,” the witness said of the unidentified woman. “It does happen when Obama comes to L.A. or I’m sure anywhere else. It paralyzes the city, it does make it complicated.”
The witness told The Blaze that the woman was forced to wait at least 30 minutes as authorities prepared for the arrival of Obama's motorcade, preventing her from crossing the street to reach the hospital.
NBC Los Angeles reporter Robert Kovacik posted videos from the scene on his Instagram profile.
In one video, Kovacik asked a Los Angeles cop what would "happen with the pregnant lady across the street."
“As soon as we can — it looks like the motorcade is coming through right about now, so we’ll be able to open it up for traffic. The first thing we’ll try to get through will be an ambulance, but I can’t guarantee there will be —" the officer said before the video ended abruptly.
Medics treated the woman at the scene and, according to multiple reports on Thursday morning, the baby still hasn't arrived.
The incident also gave conservatives an opening to revisit a Democratic fundraising tool that has driven the right mad since the 2012 election.
National Review's Greg Pollowitz offered a light-hearted take on the matter in his post titled "War on Women: Obama Motorcade Delays Woman in Labor From Entering Hospital."
"If only she had free birth control, this never would have happened," Pollowitz wrote. "I kid, I kid. This really isn't the president's fault, but why do the cops on the scene not do anything for this woman?"
The "War on Women" angle sounded good to Townhall's Katie Pavlich, too.
Pavlich used the story to promote her recently released book, "Assault and Flattery," which "exposes the truth behind the real war on women—the one being waged by Democrats."
Well, this is rude. Obama motorcade stops woman in labor from crossing street to hospital http://t.co/omWJ38fVrj #AssaultandFlattery
— Katie Pavlich (@KatiePavlich) July 24, 2014
Unlike Pollowitz, it's unclear if Pavlich was joking.