It’s been a busy week for the Rowan County clerk’s office. And if you think it’s been bad for county clerk Kim Davis – who’s now in federal custody for continually refusing to issue marriage licenses to gay couples – try being one of her coworkers.
That’s the idea behind a parody Twitter account that’s quickly shot to more than 50,000 followers amid all the uproar. Using a photo of an as-yet-unnamed clerk’s office staffer sitting next to Davis mid-confrontation, @nexttokimdavis shares expletive-laden thoughts about Mountain Dew, Project Runway, and about how “this was supposed to just be a chill job.”
It’s a hilarious dressing down of Davis, who’s been hailed as an anti-gay hero. Here are some of the account’s best gems:
We all agreed that if #KimDavis falls in love and wants to marry her cell mate, we’ll let her, but we’re going to be dicks about it.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
COME ON DOWN TO THE ROWAN COUNTY CLERKS OFFICE AND ILL MARRY A FUCKING CHAIR TO A TIGER. #KimDavis
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
#KimDavis – DID GOD ORDER YOU NOT TO REFILL THE XEROX TRAY, TOO? GODDAMN IT SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GO HOME TO OUR FIRST HUSBAND
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
I JUST GOT THIS JOB TO DICK AROUND ON FACEBOOK, KIM! YOU TOLD ME IT WOULD BE CHILL! THIS IS NOT FUCKING CHILL. #KimDavis
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
.@IStandwKimDavis have fun standing in prison. I’ll sit on the couch with a glass o white zin, @TimGunn and my first husband. #halfdayfriday
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 4, 2015
know an important part of the #KimDavis story we’ve missed @maddow? How nasty it is when she takes her shoes off under the fucking desk.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 4, 2015
.@GovMikeHuckabee ONE WEEK OF #KimDavis EATING YOUR PB&J OUT OF THE FRIDGE AND YOU’D SEND HER TO SIBERIA. TRUST ME.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 3, 2015
The best thing about #KimDavis court date tomorrow? I’m taking a fucking 90 minute lunch.
— Sitnexto Kim Davis (@nexttokimdavis) September 2, 2015
Oh my, TPM, you’re such a tease.
Ah, the joys of snark. The staffer looks like she just wants to murder Davis. Huckabee needs to read the Constitution some time. Maybe he and Davis can move to Uganda.
Oh wait- they don’t want to move somewhere where they would be a minority! Too many “darkies”.
My sense of humor is seriously impaired. So I can never tell if something is actually funny to other people.
I’m going to go ahead and guess that IStandWithKimDavis is either her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband.
Now that was funny. The tweets–not so much.