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Erick Erickson Is A Wholesome, Godfearing Man Who Loves Him Some Penis Jokes

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He often invokes scripture, as he did last month in a column on what he sees as a misinterpretation of Christ's lessons. Too many purported Christians, he argued, "never really get into Jesus’s views on damnation, sin, and salvation."

"Christ said we should enter through the narrow gate. A lot of the media’s favorite voices on Christendom preach that the gate is as deep and wide as possible for all comers," Erickson wrote. "That’s simply not true. There is only one way. There is only one path. There is only one savior. All truly are welcome. But that one path offends so many not all want to be welcomed."

Erickson also claims an insight into where Jesus would stand on contemporary affairs. In a piece on the controversial anti-gay bill in Arizona, Erickson showcased his understanding of Christian dogma.

You might think Jesus would bake a cake for a gay wedding. I think you are wrong. I do not think Jesus Christ would participate in the ratification of a sin — and a marriage between two people of the same sex is a sin. Are you really going to tell the millions of Christians in the United States who think otherwise that not only are they wrong, but the state should be able to force your opinion of what Jesus would do on them? In your pride, you might think 2000 years of Christian orthodoxy and the majority of practicing Christians in the world today are wrong — but don’t think among people of practicing Christian faith you are in the majority.

He's a wholesome guy who shudders at the debauchery of today's youth. Looking ahead to this week's Conservative Political Action Conference, Erickson admonished the right's girls and boys to be on their best behavior.

Unfortunately, too many treat CPAC like spring break. More than a few of the twenty and thirty somethings who go to CPAC seem to treat it like an extension of their college days doing their best to hook up before passing out. It’s not the majority to be sure, but it is a noticeable minority.I am not even sure that there is a solution to the problem. But we should not think it is anything but a problem. It is not every young man, but there are many. They risk dragging the whole affair down to some bawdy, rowdy distraction.

But Erickson can get pretty bawdy himself, like he did in 2010 when he mocked "feminazis" for "being too ugly to get a date." Or in 2009, when he called retired Supreme Court Justice David Souter a "goat fucking child molester."

Indeed, Erickson often displays two wildly different personalities, veering effortlessly from holy roller to frat boy.

Last month, only a week before he tried to set the record straight on "Jesus’s views on damnation, sin, and salvation," Erickson blasted the "shameless whores" in the press for having "erections for everything Barack Obama does."

He mocked MSNBC, saying one half of the cable news channel wants to have Obama's baby "and the women over there just want to be his mistress."

Erickson continued the phallic shtick this week after the Huffington Post's Howard Fineman observed on Twitter that the Academy Awards "show diversity, tolerance, cultural creativity of US in Obama Era."

It was too much for Erickson, whose mind immediately went to fellatio.

(In fairness, Fineman's own wife even panned the tweet, too)