Finishing up this week’s run of the “The Daily Show” Thursday in Austin, Texas, host Jon Stewart wasn’t going to let his liberal audience kid themselves about efforts to turn the state blue.
Stewart shook his head at clips of hopeful Democrats looking to flip the Lone Star state.
“Really? Texas is goin’ blue? Listen to me: Texas has been a conservative state since dinosaurs roamed it 6,000 years ago,” he said. “At least, that date is according to the Texas state high school textbooks.”
After a montage of coverage showing Republicans’ massive leads on the local and state level, Stewart sighed. “You poor bastards.”
“Democrats in Texas are like the drunk guy at the bar who won’t stop hittin’ on a girl even though he knows she’s a lesbian,” Stewart joked.
“No dude, trust me, I can flip her,” he said with a mock drawl. “I just need time.”
Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central: